Takato ½
by Neverwhere Chaos Mode
Summary: This is just one of those frightening things that I really shouldn't allow to leave my head.


Prologue - That's Just Not Right  
  
Numerous crashing noises could be heard in the rain throughout Nerima as a petite redhead and what seemed to be a large red dinosaur chased what appeared to be a panda and another dinosaur, this one a yellowish orange.  
  
"Get back here you Panda!!"  
  
"Georf!"  
  
"I don't care!! Guilmon, get him!"  
  
"PYRO SPHERE!"  
  
"Waah! Tai! PEPPER BREATH!"

* * *

Matt Ishida, owner of the Ishida Digimon Dojo, glanced through the mail as he shook his head at the rain outside. It'd been doing that a lot recently. Gabumon sat next to him, eyeing the door. Water didn't agree with his fur very well. Matt stopped when he came to a postcard, and read it, his eyes widening.  
  
_Matt -  
  
Bringing Takato. Will explain on arrival.  
  
Tai_  
  
Silent tears of joy flowed down his cheeks. Tai, his oldest friend, was coming home.  
  
What was better, he was bringing his son. He looked down. "Gabumon. Fetch my daughters. I have wondrous news!"  
  
His digimon leapt to its feet. "Sure thing Matt!"  
  
He scurried out of the room, and into the kitchen where a girl with Brown hair drawn into a bun was preparing food with the help of her Kotemon, who was chopping vegetables. "Carmela! Matt wants to see you."  
  
She looked over, and smiled. "Very well. I suppose I can stop for a moment… Kotemon!"  
  
The digimon looked up. "Yes mistress?"  
  
"Please continue the preparations. I shouldn't be too long."  
  
The little thing nodded from where it stood on a stool to reach the counter. "Of course."  
  
Gabumon, seeing that one third of his task was complete, ran for the second floor, knocking politely on a door.  
  
"Whooo is it?"  
  
"It's Gabumon, Palmon. Tell Mimi that her father wants to talk to her… I don't suppose you know where Rika is?"  
  
"Probably in the dojo training with Renamon. Like always."  
  
Gabumon nodded from outside the closed door and ran back downstairs. He eyed the dojo out the window with a practiced eye, noting locations of cover. He _really_ didn't want to get his fur wet.  
  
Then he sighed. Matt had told him to get the girls, and he would do it. The little dog digimon tensed himself, then sprinted for the dojo doors, trying to dodge the drops of rain if at all possible.  
  
Unfortunately, Gabumon couldn't quite stop at the speed he was sprinting at, and so he jumped through the mysteriously open window, directly into the dojo… and right into the path of some raining projectiles.  
  
"DIAMOND STORM!"  
  
"WHAAAA!"  
  
Gabumon danced furiously, trying to avoid the little crystal shards that were hitting the ground at high speeds. He wasn't quite successful, and ended up with little welts all over his skin, under the fur.  
  
"Renamon, stop!"  
  
The yellow fox digimon complied, and Gabumon got carefully and painfully to his feet. He wobbled a moment, then corrected himself. "Your father wants to see you…"  
  
Rika just nodded. She left, and Renamon phased out, leaving Gabumon to weave unsteadily after them. If one didn't know better, they'd say he was drunk.

* * *

With his daughters assembled, and Gabumon resting his aching limbs, Matt prepared to address his family. He took one final glance at Gabumon before starting.  
  
_Really, Rika goes way too far in training sometimes._  
  
"I have something important to tell you all. Many years ago, when I was a young man, I trained with another man, Tai Kamiya. Under the same master as we were, we agreed that, when the time came, our children should marry, to rejoin the schools."  
  
He paused for a moment.  
  
"That day is today. Tai is coming, and bringing his son Takato. One of you will have to marry him."  
  
The three girls all looked at each other for a moment. Mimi spoke up. "Is he cute?"  
  
This sparked Carmela. "Is he younger? Younger men are so… young."  
  
"Who cares how old he is Carmela. All boys are perverts."  
  
Matt sighed at Rika's remark, and decided to ignore it, while his daughters looked expectantly at him.  
  
"I don't know. I've never met him."  
  
Silence reigned supreme as the girls just traded looks again. Matt started sweating nervously at their expressions. This was not his strong suit. There was a knock on the door. Matt jumped up to answer it, anything to avoid his children's glares.  
  
_Surely this must be Tai. Perfect timing!_  
  
Matt opened the door, and promptly fainted.

* * *

Back in the dining room, the girls looked at each other, then turned towards the front door when they heard the 'thump' Matt's body made when it hit the ground. Rika snorted. "Whatever. I'll be training. Renamon?"  
  
She walked out and over to the side entrance, moving towards the dojo. Mimi and Carmela sighed and stood, moving for the front door.  
  
What they saw when they got there confused them. Gabumon and Rika stood around Matt's body, prodding him, and Gabumon was pleading for him to wake up. Behind Rika stood two dinosaur digimon, one red and the other yellow orange. The orange one was asking a large black and white lump to get up, much like Gabumon was Matt. On closer inspection, the lump was a panda. The red digimon stood wagging its tail happily.  
  
Carmela, taking in the scene, asked a question. "Rika, what happened?"  
  
Rika looked around, absently scratching the back of her head, as if expecting someone else to be there. Something seemed off. She was wearing… goggles? And why was her hair down? Mimi got impatient.  
  
"Rika! Don't be rude! You can go back to training Renamon as soon as we've figured out what's happening here!"  
  
"Uhhh…"  
  
Rika wasn't being very helpful.  
  
"What the hell is going on here?!"  
  
Carmela and Mimi spun. Rika stood behind them. Blinking, they turned back around, and there was Rika, now muttering and kicking the panda. They turned around again, and there was Rika still, hands on her hips, foot tapping the ground. "Well?"  
  
The two older sisters stood aside, and pointed towards the girl kicking the panda. The orange dino tried to tackle her, only to be intercepted by the red one. Suddenly the Rika behind them sprinted out between them.  
  
"IMPOSTER!!!"  
  
The goggled Rika that had been kicking the panda looked behind her, then stood dumbfounded as the charging Rika sped towards her. Stunned as she was, she made no move to stop the hands closing around her throat.  
  
"Die imposter!"  
  
"GAAAK!"  
  
That eloquent phrase startled the two rolling dinos. The red one's eyes got wide, and charged straight for the Rika choking the goggled one. Renamon chose that moment to intervene, however, slamming her foot into the back of the red digimon's neck, sending him sprawling short of his target.  
  
Their father awakened at this point, took another look at the scene, and promptly fainted again. Unfortunately, this time he fell on Gabumon, who was knocked out by the impact.

* * *

About a half hour later, Rika sat focusing her death glare on her goggled duplicate, who was sitting across from her at the table sweating nervously. Matt sat at the head of the table and looked in disbelief at the panda and the girl sitting there. The panda held up a sign.  
  
"Georf" #Can someone get some hot water please?#  
  
Matt stared incredulously at the sign, then at Agumon, the orange digimon. Then back at the panda. "Kamiya? Is that you?"  
  
#Yes. Can someone PLEASE get me some hot water?#  
  
Carmela walked into the kitchen and came back with a steaming kettle. She handed it to the panda, and it promptly poured the water over its head. The 'panda' instantly became a man with extremely wild brown hair, dressed in a white gi with a blue headband and goggles. Matt's eyes boggled. "What has happened to you old friend?"  
  
Tai shrugged. "There's not much to tell, really." The goggled 'Rika', now revealed to be Takato, kicked her old man in the head. Agumon tried to attack him again, but was promptly slammed into the ground by Guilmon. Takato snorted. "Stupid pops."  
  
Then, Takato grabbed the kettle and dumped it over herself, only to find it empty. She kicked the fallen man again, even as he was rising. The two dinos were still rolling around on the floor. Thankfully, neither had resorted to attacks - yet. Tai got back up finally, and glanced behind him. "Agumon, Guilmon, stop it."  
  
Agumon wasn't happy with this. "But he started it, Tai!"  
  
Tai groaned. "Agumon, he's your son. You should have more control over him than _that_."  
  
Takato snorted. "Like you have any control over me, pops."  
  
The three daughters were just sitting there, watching the real life soap opera play out before their eyes, jaws dropped. Matt attempted to regain control of the situation. "So, um, what's that about a curse, Kamiya?"  
  
Tai grimaced. "There really isn't much to it." He held up his hand to forestall his child's imminent attack. "The end result is pretty bad, but the way it happened was fairly simple."  
  
The goggled redhead nodded slowly. "I'll give ya that one pops."  
  
Tai sighed. "Well, it happened like this…"

* * *

A man, an orange lizard, a boy, and the little red… thing… he was carrying, looked down over the valley, complete with bamboo poles sticking out of the pools. The man grinned. "Well, there it is boy. Jusenkyo, one of the most infamous training grounds in the world."  
  
Takato snorted. "Great."  
  
The older man sighed. The boy just didn't understand. It was all for his own good! "Well, let's get to it boy. Drop Gigimon and hop up."  
  
Just nodding, Takato did as told, and after a moment, the two were sparing, using only poles for balance. Agumon turned to the little one. "Okay, Gigimon, we're gonna spar too. Show your old man your stuff."  
  
"'K"  
  
Agumon silently despaired. Why didn't his child have an ounce of wit? But, he defended himself as the little red bundle came at him, pointedly ignoring the man who was shouting in Chinese at Tai and Takato.  
  
Distracted by the raving lunatic attempting to catch his trainer's attention, Agumon missed the glow that appeared underneath his foot, where he had Gigimon trapped.  
  
**Gigimon digivolve to… Guilmon!**  
  
Agumon's foot slipped, and he fell on his tail as his offspring suddenly shot up in size, bigger, in fact, than his father. Giddily happy, Guilmon decided to try out his attack.  
  
"PYRO SPHERE!"  
  
Luckily for Agumon, he was able to dodge. Unluckily for Tai, Augmon was able to dodge. Takato had just knocked him for a loop over on the bamboo poles, and he was about to land, when the ball of flame hit him in the chest, knocking him into one of the springs. The Chinese man fell to his knees, crying in Chinese.  
  
What happened next is truly extrodinary. A panda, of all things, jumped out of the pool and onto the poles. It then knocked a gaping Takato into a different pool.

* * *

Carmela wandered back into the room with a new pot of hot water, which Takato gratefully accepted from her. He changed back into a male with a relieved sigh.  
  
"And when _he_ jumped out, he was, well…" He gestured vaguely at the fuming Takato.  
  
Matt seemed fascinated. "How… exactly does it work?"  
  
Tai shrugged, then reached over to his side, and flung Takato into the nearby koi pond. An angry redhead, looking a lot like Rika scrambled back into the room. "What'd ya do that for?"  
  
Tai ignored him, and answered his friend. "Cold water curses us, and hot water will change us back."  
  
Matt nodded slowly, thinking to himself. Then he turned to the irate Takato and smiled. "Well, that's not so bad." He turned to the girls. "This is Carmela, nineteen, Mimi, sixteen, and Rika, fourteen. Choose one to be your fiancé."  
  
Carmela was up in an instant. "Oh he wants Rika."  
  
Mimi was quick to agree. "Oh yes. He'll definitely love Rika."  
  
Rika, however, was simply pissed off. Ignoring her double, she addressed her sisters. "Where do you get off putting this on me?"  
  
Mimi started. "Well, you don't like boys, right?"  
  
Carmela finished. "He's half girl."  
  
Rika growled, but said nothing. It wasn't often she could out argue either of her sisters, and if they teamed up against her she didn't have a chance. The only choice was to give up while she was ahead, and choose another tactic to get out of it. She turned to Takato, who accepting another kettle from Kotemon with a warm smile on her face. It was hideous according to Rika's thought processes. "You. Me. Dojo. Now."  
  
Takato looked at her strangely, but a cough from his father found him accepting. Gesturing for Guilmon to follow, he walked after her.  
  
Tai grinned. "Love at first sight, eh Ishida?"  
  
Carmela and Mimi just exchanged glances.

* * *

The moment Guilmon's tail was through, Rika slammed the door, almost dislodging it from its track. The only thing she'd come up with on short notice was to scare the boy away. He technically hadn't chosen a fiancé yet, so she could scare him into choosing one of her sisters instead. And that was only if he wasn't too freaked out to simply leave the area entirely. "Renamon. Strike."  
  
Renamon appeared in an instant, in mid leap, crystals appearing around her.  
  
"DIAMOND STORM!"  
  
The shards shot down, pelting Guilmon. He barely looked like he'd felt it at all as he blinked up at the yellow fox. He waved. "Hiiii!"  
  
Rika growled, and threw a punch at the goggled wonder, who simply dodged backwards.  
  
He ducked.  
  
He dodged.  
  
He bobbed and weaved.  
  
He called out occasional bits of advice.  
  
She wanted to scream in fury. Too bad she couldn't afford to waste the breath. "Fight me, you ass!" She did it anyways. Takato glanced over at Guilmon, who was countering Renamon's 'Power Paw' with a 'Rock Crusher', and shrugged.  
  
_Pops told me never to fight a girl._ He ducked under a kick aimed for his face and grimaced. _But then again, half of what Pops says is stupid… and I've never met a girl this well trained before, other than an Amazon, either._ Takato was hardly going all out, but he was using about three quarters of what he could do. He slipped away from a haymaker and made his choice. _The tomboy here can probably take it._ He slipped through her guard, and had his fist flying towards her stomach. The breath flew out of her, and she collapsed weezing. Takato glanced at his hand, then at Rika.  
  
_Hmm. Maybe I overdid it a little._  
  
Guilmon, with Renamon distracted by the phantom pain through her link with Rika, managed to pin the elusive fox on the ground. The red digimon grinned, and cried out in a sing song voice. "I did it! I did it!" Renamon sighed. This would not be pleasant later. Rika wasn't exactly uncaring about her partner, but she'd still be heavily pissed about Renamon's loss, compounded by her own.

* * *

Takato sighed happily as he relaxed in the furo, Guilmon beside him. _This isn't so bad. So there's a violent tomboy after my head on a stick. That's not too bad. Nothing I haven't had to deal with before. Besides, good food and a warm place to sleep more than make up for it._  
  
Guilmon closed his eyes and rested his head on the tile as he allowed his body to completely relax in the water. Today had been fun. His daddy had sparred with him, and Renamon had sparred with him too! Today had was a happy day, especially because his trainer was currently happy too, he could feel it.  
  
He opened his eyes when he heard the door creak slightly. Takato spun around in the water, coming face to butt naked face with Rika. What happened next was inevitable. Some would call it fate, some would call it business as usual. But one thing was certain. Nerima would never be quite the same again, and Takato would never take so many lumps as in these days.  
  
"PERVERT!!"  
  
Guilmon winced as the heavy sink smashed into his partner's head, then joined him in the cycle of pain as a gloved paw impacted his own skull.  
  
And somehow, despite the pain involved, despite the intractability of the two persons and their partners, the universe smiled.  
  
All was right within it.

* * *

Well, that was fun. I've been working on this in my spare moments for a bit, and spare moments were inbetween other fics too.  
  
Don't expect this to be updated often. It's at the bottom of the food chain. I wouldn't even post it except that I need to prove that I'm alive, and I thought it would be good for a laugh. 


End file.
